Uplifting Survivor Voices: “Legislating Hope: How One Woman Turned Pain into Policy to Protect Others,” Written by Witlee Ethan

Written by Witlee Ethan

TW: Suicidal Ideation, Sexual violence, violence 

From the time I was a young girl, I’ve always had an empathetic heart towards victims of injustice. Wanting to do something to make a difference and help them in some way.  Which became my life’s mission when I became a crime victim of physical and sexual assault, having also experienced different kinds of abuse throughout my life. Going from Victim to Survivor to becoming a Victim Advocate is no small feat and has been an arduous journey. Yet, I am the resilient advocate I am today because of everything I’ve experienced. The violent acts I endured on Jan 6, 2020, when I was held hostage (false imprisonment), physically assaulted, and repeatedly sexually assaulted, is what led me to write legislation, to protect others from the injustices I experienced. What I know now that I didn’t know then is that all the trauma, heartache, loss, grief, and pain I would go through would lead me to a purpose I never could have imagined. 

In Jan 2020, when I went on a date with a guy from a dating site. I had no idea that date would completely turn my world upside down in the worst ways nor did I realize years later it would also impact legislative change. But there would be a lot I would have to walk through, survive, and overcome before I would accomplish what I have now.  Because of the assault I’ve experienced mental health struggles leading to suicide ideation, I became pregnant from the assault and endured a traumatic miscarriage, and I’ve been cruelly mistreated by others because of being sexually assaulted. Plus, the stress from the trauma in the aftermath of the assault, has taken a toll on my physical health. Sexual assault impacts victims in every way.

Yet, if that wasn’t bad enough, on top of everything I’ve also been revictimized and further harmed by our judicial system, the police, the DA’s office, Atrium healthcare system, multi-million-dollar corporations, state licensing boards, attorneys, and by a private investigative firm. In the last five years, my perpetrator has yet to be brought to justice by either the Cornelius Police Dept or the DA’s office. The police haven’t done their job to properly investigate my case and because of their negligence, my case escalated to a “She Said, He Sued” case. Which allowed my perpetrator to legally sue me for defamation all because I turned him in for his crimes. Sadly, perpetrators have more rights than victims and survivors do. This retaliatory tactic used by abusers to weaponize the system against their victim in an attempt to silence them is known worldwide as “She Said He Sued”. 

When I was sued by my rapist, I was forced to file bankruptcy to protect myself. My case ended up in Civil Court, Bankruptcy Court, and Federal District Court. In Civil Court cases the victims are listed as the defendant while the perpetrators have a powerful advantage over their vulnerable victims because of money and connections. Victims are not given a pro bono attorney nor are victim services or resources made available to them because the lawsuit is a civil case, not a criminal case. My perpetrator filed his lawsuit against me because the companies he worked for used me as a scapegoat, prioritizing profit over protecting people. I had turned in my perpetrator to his company North American Senior Benefits (NASB) which was acquired by Integrity Marketing Group, because he was conducting business while assaulting me. He got on a companywide call and muted it while he committed crimes. The companies first protected him but when they eventually fired him, they blamed me shifting the blame to the victim.  What they did resulted in him filing his lawsuit against me. The unethical actions of these two companies caused me financial devastation. I didn’t just have to file bankruptcy, I also ended up in debt. 

With my court case I had to advocate for myself including writing motions, filing motions, and representing myself pro se. I was in a very vulnerable position desperately needing help in my case and had reached out to over 100 attorneys. Unfortunately, the attorneys that were willing to represent me or give me legal advice caused more harm instead of helping. These attorneys jeopardized my case and didn’t follow the ethical standards of the state bar. One male attorney sexually harassed me and made sexually inappropriate comments about my case. This court case exposed a lot of injustices within our system. Including the Cornelius Police protecting my perpetrator by refusing to even bring him in for questioning and working with him instead of working to bring him to justice. During the settlement agreement negotiations that I was forced by the Court to attend with my perpetrator, he put stipulations in the agreement that protected the police.  The mediator during mediation threatened that if I didn’t sign the settlement agreement that my perpetrator would go after my family. Which was a valid concern considering my perpetrator has AR15’s as well as other guns in his possession that the police refuse to investigate. Plus, he had hired Derecho Investigations and Security Consultants operated by former military and police personnel, to find me for him. Which they gave my perpetrator addresses for me and my family, endangering our safety. One of my biggest safety concerns regarding my perpetrator is that he is an insurance producer who is licensed across the nation and goes into his clients’ homes without them being aware of the crimes he’s committed. The state licensing boards won’t do anything to remove his licenses unless the police charge him, but the police refuse to hold him accountable in any way. So, for the last five years he’s been walking free and able to rape again. 

Against all odds I won my case against him while representing myself pro se in Feb 2023. In the final case decision, the Judge stated that my perpetrator is a liar and made the settlement agreement moot. Which meant I was no longer silenced, and he was no longer protected. After this win he gave up his final 2 appeals, the case was over. This was a huge victory in so many ways. Every case sets a precedent, in my case the victim won over her abuser. But two months after this win in April 2023, Chief Baucom of the Cornelius Police Dept, closed my case letting me know that they did not consider all the evidence and some evidence would not be reviewed at all. I was also told that they would only re-open my case if another woman is raped. That was the moment that changed everything. In response to the police failing to protect people from rapists, and after our system has continued to fail me and other victims and survivors. On April 25, 2023, I wrote my bill. 

Though I had never written a bill before, it was the first step towards creating change that I saw was needed from all the injustices that took place in the handling of my case. Change that would give victims and survivors justice, hold perpetrators accountable, and work towards preventing what happened to me from happening to anyone else. At this point I had already been in touch with the NCCASA and staff attorney Skye David regarding my story. On April 15, 2024, my bill was drafted in the House and over the next year me, Skye, and many Legislators would tirelessly lobby for this bill. On April 3, 2025, my bill on Sexual Assault Victim Rights part of HB 771: Criminal Law Procedures https://webservices.ncleg.gov/ViewBillDocument/2025/3703/0/DRH10350-SA-8) was introduced for the first time in the NCGA House of Representatives. I was able to speak on my bill before the J2 Committee on April 15, 2025, and after I spoke, I got to witness it passing unanimously and moving to Rules, which it passed on April 28, 2025. I was also there in the gallery on April 29, 2025, when it passed the House. After it passed with 111 votes to 3, the House Speaker announced, “ I have one more courtesy of the gallery that is part of the bill that the body just passed upon motion of Rep. Stevens, the Chair is happy to extend the courtesy of the gallery to Witlee Ethan who was an inspiration for portions of HB 771. At that point, Members of the House and those in the gallery proceeded to give me a standing ovation recognizing me for my advocacy and my contribution to the bill. It was a powerful moment for me as a woman, as a victim, a survivor, and victim advocate for others. Because as I said during my speech before the J2 Committee, “I was standing there representing every victim, every survivor, every woman, and standing up advocating for every child.” Exactly 2 years after I wrote my bill it passed the House and it happened during Sexual Assault Awareness Month. A moment in time I’ll never forget especially when victims and survivors are often silenced, dismissed, and disregarded, but in this moment before the NC House of Representatives we were seen and acknowledged. This fight for justice started out to hold my perpetrator accountable, but it became a mission to protect everyone. This bill has made crossover and is now in the Senate. The progress this bill has made is nothing short of a miracle and it truly is a monumental milestone. 

I hope my story gives you hope and encourages you. No matter what you’ve endured, something good can still come from it. There is purpose in the pain. If I hadn't gone through what I went through, I never would have written this bill. Which can directly impact over 11 million people with the ability to help even more people. To the victims and survivors, you are not alone. 

For more info on Witlee Ethan, please visit https://linktr.ee/LiveEachDayWithPurpose